THE MOON SONG
by Dave Hook

Well, "It's one small step for man
And one giant leap for mankind"
Those were the scripted words for Neil Armstrong,
On July 20th, 1969

That grainy footage shown on TV
At one time actually convinced me
But how do we really know?
Because Walter Cronkite told us so?

I say:

No man has ever walked on the moon
Now before you dismiss me as a loon
Listen to the facts and you may even find
A story that just might change your mind

You see it all started back in '62
JFK told the people what he would do
Put a man on the moon by the decade's end
Land, and bring them safely home again

He was a great speaker we all know
And he even banged Marilyn Monroe,
He was also just a politician,
But Jack "knew Jack"
about the complexities of any space mission

Now NASA had to get their ass in gear
And suddenly their hearts were full of fear
The Russians were way ahead of them in the space race
Now Kennedy was setting them all up for disgrace

Their funding stood at about a couple BILL
Would not admit defeat, and never will

So they said:

If we can't make it, then we'll fake it
If we can't do it, then screw it
We'll film it in the desert, or on a sound stage
And put it on the TV and the front page
We'll shoot it all in black and white
Even though we got a color camera on the flight

We'll bring jeeps, but bring no telescopes?

We'll hit some golf balls all around,
Then stick a flag into the ground

That should be enough for the boob tube watching dopes

There are dangers about space travel most don't know
Radiation gets more intense the farther out you go
It starts at about 1,000 miles out
Go farther than that and die, there's no doubt

Unless you shield yourself with 8 feet of lead
Any less than that, and surely you'd be dead
But to build a ship like that, why even try?
It would be much too heavy to ever fly

Kennedy thought this was plausible
NASA knew it was impossible
But they still wanted to get paid
So they said to themselves:

If we can't make it, then we'll fake it
If we can't do it, then screw it
We'll film it in the desert, or on a sound stage
And put it on the TV and the front page

We'll bring extra lighting just for fun
Even though the only light source is the sun

But we need them for the photos we're going to take

No photos of stars or other stuff,
Some young astronomer may call our bluff

It never can come out it all was fake

'cause it's much too dangerous to really go,
On live TV? I don't fucking think so
We'll tape the whole thing in advance
For an unhappy ending we can not take the chance

3 dead astroNOTS would not boost morale
And anyway we'll be long dead before they cry foul
We'll show them some meteors we found on earth if they want proof
When you control the media you control the truth

Full body photos of Neil on the moon, there are only two
And he has never ever granted an interview
But this does not leave me too surprised
Ask him no questions, and he'll tell you no lies

He knows

They couldn't make it, so they faked it
They couldn't do it, and said, "Screw it"
They filmed it in the desert on a sound stage
And put it on the TV and the front page

Sent a satellite feed of their con
To a few on the ground who knew what was going on

Then beamed it out to all the excited folks

They were never 250,000 miles away
George Bush says we're going back some day:

But the first time around it was a hoax

They slowed the film, and hid the wires
Very very clever liars,

But

The first time around it was a hoax