I woke up from a deep sleep in what felt like a water bed.
As I looked for my glasses around me I realized my vision was
clear already. It was grey all around me, it felt like I was in a
boat or a raft, but I was laying still yet the room & the
floor beneath me was rushing by like a river. I was in a
circular room with no walls or corners, the sides around
me shifting & spinning counter clockwise. It's like I was
in a water whirlwind tornado of sorts yet I seemed to be
in the middle of it, the eye of some crazy storm. I quickly rose
up and putting my arms and hands in front of my face approached
the water rushing by all sides of me. I realized I couldn't touch anything
or feel any chills inside this water vortex. It's like
I was invisible, I couldn't even see my own hands in front of my
face. I wasn't panicking nor was I surprised somehow. I wasn't
scared I wasn't lost I just was. As I looked deeper through the
outside of the cylinder that consumed me there seemed
to be lightning strikes happening on the other side of the
water which echoed with light. Just as I'd noticed the
lightning, the water beneath me began to rise. The moving
water beneath me didn't submerge me though, my feet weren't even
wet. It was pushing me upwards, I looked up to the top of this
water tornado prison and I could see there was an end to this
madness. It was about a hundred feet to the top of this inner
storm. The rushing water below me kept raising me up towards
the dark light. There was sky above but it was filled with
purple fire spinning the other direction opposed to the
water winds amongst me. The lightning intensified as I road up
this crazy storm hellevator. My mind reminded me of
all the mistakes and disturbing behavior I took part in
even the ones I thought were lost or chose not to exist.
Every time the lightning crashed I was reminded in torment
of another horrible memory. The lightning intensified
and I was overwhelmed with despair & regret.
I wasn't just recalling these events eye could feel
them. Like the beating of some evil drum through
my heart. I could see my reflection somehow
every time the light echoed off the walls up around
& through me. I saw a scar I have on my chest that
reminds me of family & my brother and his family.
The moment I changed my thoughts to my family my
feet and ankles were submerged in the rushing river
beneath me still pushing me upwards. I kept my
mind & my thoughts pure & honest recalling women
I loved & happy positive experiences I shared with them.
I sunk deeper into the water almost past
my knees the light intensified. As I looked up
I could see more of the purple storm with lightning
as bright as the sun. Two chambers opened up
on either side of me still out of my reach
above me at the top of the whirlwind storm tunnel.
I wasn't afraid any more of the lightning or the purple
clouds I almost welcomed it. The holes on each side
at the top of this journey were almost at my grasp.
I could see one door was complete darkness, almost
ultimate silence, a void of what seemed like
nothingness, a black hole of sorts. The other I could
see some light but it seemed cold without feeling it.
There was a fog to it and uncertainty, shimmering
lights almost star twinkles. Deep in beneath it my
legs were still sunken in the rushing waters.
I couldn't be stuck I was still free to move around
almost pick a direction as I went upwards. I felt like I had a
choice like I was supposed to make a decision. As I came
closer to the top of the liquid mind trap the clouds up
above intensified and I could see orange & red snaps of
light in amongst the purple clouds. The space to my left
side intrigued my interest and curiousity almost
compelled to dive through the space door which felt
like it had answers for me whereas the other option
felt like unconscious sleep. I rememberd my parents and
my mother's old bedtime lullaby (Now I lay me down to
sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep if I should die before
I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take) my anxious feelings
and doubt disappeared. I kept repeating the prayer in my
mind. After the fifth time chanting these words I
became completely overwhelmed with peace and acceptance
with myself. I wasn't ashamed or upset about my life.
I asked GOD to forgive me for I have sinned. The moment
I said that the doors beside me filled with water and disappeared
back into walls of spinning water. I was half submerged
I could now feel the heat on my head and upper torso
from the area above the clouds of fire and purple
lightning. As I looked up at the sky above it was spinning
profusely clockwise in the other direction as my tunnel.
It wasn't a sky scene anymore the clouds had morphed into
a cloud tornado of purple fire & black & grey winds. Inside
the grey parts appeared to be lightning inside the
upside down tunnel. It wasn't shining like a sun anymore.
The lightning strikes may be metallic bursts of metal rods
bouncing back and forth off the sides of that storm.
The sound of a piano echoed from above louder and louder.
It was a familiar song, the outro from EPIC (Faith No More).
I closed my eyes and stood tall with my arms crossed against
my chest up to my shoulders: Forgive me God for I have sinned.
One last time I spoke from my soul, my inner being
I expressed one last thought. I fell back into the river
beneath me pushing upwards. But I was overcome by
the water this time. The window above me was gone.
I was floating under water with no pressure or weight
amongst me. I could feel a tickle from my brain tingling
down to my belly button, almost as if my spirit or my
essence was being transferred out, transported my
mind body & spirit escaped out and through my stomach,
my eyes still shut & at ease. When I felt
the time was right I opened my eyes. I was completely
at peace. I was laying down again on my back with my arms
still crossed up to my shoulders. I wasn't scared or
compelled to move or shift in any way. I was on a conveyer belt
being drawn into another tunnel. The door closed
behind my head. It was crematorium. I was being cremated.
The latch on the door locked & the fire furnace was activated.
I felt no pain or discomfort. There was a
window to my right side. I could see my parents standing
there together holding hands, crying physically shook
sad with disbelief and despair. My body now overwhelmed
and completely submerged in flames all the way
up to my neck, some sort of force kept my face momentarily
free from flames. I gazed out through the window
at my parents. They could see my eyes and I knew they knew
I could feel their love for me. Each time I blinked
I met eyes with each of them locked in a peaceful accepting
caring and loving eye trance engaged with both sets
of eyes. My father raised my mother's hand to his heart
against his chest and then to his lips breathed into
their palms and then kissed the top of my mom's hand
and whispered my beautiful boy, Kevin we love you so dearly.
Still holding hands my mother brought their hands
up toward her lips, intertwined almost in the shape of
a heart she kissed the inside of her palm and looked
at me one last time. She blew a kiss at me
through the window. I could feel it land on my cheek
I smiled and as I looked at my parents as they
looked back into my eyes I noticed in their faces
they could see that I was smiling at them. A tear
trickled out of my eye as I blinked one last time
and was swallowed by the kiss on my cheek
~ Forever Infinite ~
~ by Kason
*The above stream-of-consciousness narrative was submitted by a reader who, during rehab for drug addiction, was given the assignment to imagine his funeral and share it with the group. I believe it describes, subconsciously, an "out of body" or "near death" experience. ~ jj
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