WHO SPREADS SLOPS
(Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome)
The World Health Organization today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS). Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, Canada and Australia, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits. A WHO spokesman said, "You'd be much better off going to somewhere like Taiwan or China, because all you've got to worry about there is SARS, and let's face it, you're about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns."
The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.
To contain the spread of SLOPS, anyone who appears to be exhibiting symptoms of SLOPS should be placed under house arrest with no access to TV, internet or newspapers until they regain their sanity.
~ by Author Unknown ~
WHO warns on alternate medicine (Xiaorui Zhang & Vladimir Lephakin). BBC, Jun 24, 2004. Go to 2.Big Brother
McCartney's wife in WHO's ads (& that's not "who's on first"). BBC, Apr 8, 2004. Go to 2.Big Brother & 27.Goodthink & WHO'S BEHIND ROAD CONTROL
19-million birds to be slaughtered (of healthy chickens, turkeys & ducks to destroy Canada's poultry industry). CBC, Apr 5, 2004. Go to 9.Keeping Masses Down & HEALTH CRUSADERS: ACT IV & TAKE NOT OUR DAILY BREAD
Cattlemen say Mad Cow is no risk (hope common sense kicks in soon). Daily World, Dec 31, 2003. Go to 4.Old World Destruction & MAD COW TERROR
USA man has SARS says WHO (no proof-no link-no symptoms but Toronto back on no-go). TorontoStar, Jun 9, 2003
Go to WHO SAYS SARS SONG and HEALTH CRUSADERS
Fear & loathing in hospital (layers-gloves-masks-cap-disinfectant). Toronto Star, May 30, 2003. Go to QUARANTINE-ISOLATION-SEDATION
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