Here's a snotty-toned email I received today in response to a joke I have on the site entitled EURO ENGLISH by Author Unknown. While I do appreciate readers pointing out mistakes I don't appreciate being accused of "stealing" when I use uncredited material from authors unknown and so declare. That said, it's great to learn that the author who inspired "Euro English" was none other than one of the greatest satirists in the history of the world, Mark Twain. ~ Jackie Jura
Here's the email & the Twain prose:
To Orwell Today
regarding Euro English:
This is stolen from Mark Twain - please attribute it correctly. The original version is like this:-
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld."
NU SPELING, by George Orwell
EURO ENGLISH MAYHEM, by Kate Gladstone & Jackie Jura
MEIHEM IN CE CLASRUM, by Dolton Edwards
TWAIN QUOTE NOT, by M. J. Shields
EURO ENGLISH, by Author Unknown
Go to 18.Newspeak
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